20. Gentle Parents: A Conscious Parenting Guide to Raising Sensitive, Playful, and Resilient Kids with Amanda Evans
- Aug 1, 2023
- 12 min read
Updated: Mar 6
If you identify as one of the gentle parents trying to raise children with curiosity, compassion, and connection, this blog & podcast episode is for you. We’ll explore what conscious parenting looks like in real life, how to support sensitive and intuitive kids, why play is the parental superpower, and practical tools you can use today to feel calmer, more confident, and more connected.
Parenting is changing. Many of us grew up with paradigms and rules that were handed down without context. Today, gentle parents are asking different questions: What does my child need underneath this behavior? How can I model emotional regulation rather than enforce compliance? How do I heal my own triggers so I can show up differently for my kids?
Conscious parenting and gentle parenting are not about perfection or never saying no. They’re a mindset and a toolkit for meeting children with presence, empathy, and boundaries. They help children feel seen, teach them how to self-regulate, and repair the parent-child relationship when it gets strained, so let's dive into how to do this.
If we haven't met yet, I’m Brittany, an online marketing strategist for female entrepreneurs. I teach women how to make their entrepreneurial dreams a reality through smart, actionable marketing strategies that get them seen, loved, and paid. Whether you’re eager to DIY your way to success or hire professionals to help you along the way–my goal is to make sure you walk away with the clarity you need to see the results you desire and build a life you love.
Meet Amanda Evans
Amanda Evans is a Family Play-Based Healer, Spirit Baby Medium, Best-selling Author and Master Life Coach (meets Mary Poppins!). Amanda Evans is passionate about supporting families to be their happiest, healthiest & most aligned selves.
Her own healing and Master Coaching journey has taught her so much about the extraordinary healing powers of love, connection and play! Amanda is dedicated to helping people take their health, happiness and family choices into their own hands by believing in their own magic, the power of communication and truly healing from within....while having a lot of FUN!!
Amanda coaches conscious parents who are triggered by their child's tantrums, big emotions, and disempowering labels to parent them with greater ease, connection, presence and PLAY! She empowers sensitive children and parents to feel safer in their bodies, own their sensitive superpowers and be authentically themselves. She is a dog mama and a lover of little humans & the little moments (that really are the BIG ones!)
Table of Contents
Conscious parenting: what it is and what it isn’t
Conscious parenting is about awareness—of your child, yes, but also of yourself. It’s the practice of “putting on your airplane mask first”: regulating and reparenting your own nervous system so you can reliably support your child. For gentle parents, conscious parenting means:
Seeing behavior as communication rather than defiance.
Reflecting on your own triggers and childhood baggage (your “backpack”) so you aren’t unconsciously replaying it.
Prioritizing connection, curiosity, and compassionate boundaries over punishment or control.
Accepting that parenting is a mirror and a growth path for the adult as well as the child.
When you choose conscious parenting, you invite more empathy, depth, and ease into your family life. You also choose to learn—about the why behind your child’s behavior, and the why behind your own reactions.
How gentle parenting helps beyond childhood
Gentle parenting isn’t just about raising well-behaved kids. It’s about raising humans who know their feelings, can self-regulate, and communicate effectively. When gentle parents invest in play, curiosity, and emotional literacy, they raise adults who are more resilient, empathetic, and aligned with their inner values.
For parents, the return on investment is twofold: your child benefits, and you get to live with fewer explosive moments, more calm, and deeper connections. That’s a win for every household.
The backpack metaphor: why your history matters
Amanda uses a simple but powerful image: each parent brings a backpack to family life. That backpack holds childhood experiences, beliefs about how families function, and any unresolved trauma or triggers. When a child’s tantrum or a stressful day pokes that backpack, old feelings spill out.
For gentle parents, the backpack metaphor is freeing because it says two things at once: you are not your childhood, and you do carry things that will influence how you show up. Becoming aware of what’s in your backpack helps you decide which parts to unpack, rework, or leave behind.
Amanda explains this more in our full conversation on the Go Get Great podcast, which you can listen to here:
Who is a sensitive or intuitive child?
Many gentle parents are raising children who are highly sensitive or intuitive. Signs include:
Big emotional shifts—joy one moment, overwhelming sadness the next.
Strong empathy—picking up on others’ feelings or the emotional atmosphere in a room.
Deeply felt reactions—when they cry, they really cry; when they’re ecstatic, they’re fully present.
A keen ability to sense truth from performative emotions—sensitive kids notice when someone “says they’re fine” but feels otherwise.
These traits are beautiful and powerful. But they can also feel overwhelming for parents who aren’t sure how to respond. That’s where gentle parents who practice conscious parenting step in—with regulation, language, and play.
Three foundational promises for gentle parents
Try these as core commitments to help you stay steady:
I will regulate my nervous system first. Calm parents are less reactive parents. When you can step back and breathe, your child is less likely to mirror dysregulation.
I will treat behavior as a message, not a label. Tantrums, shutdowns, and meltdowns are signals. Ask: What does this child need right now?
I will use play as a bridge to connection and healing. Play is a child’s natural language. Let the toys talk and you’ll learn what’s happening beneath the surface.
Amanda knows this is easier said than done sometimes and shares these practical tools we can use as parents to help us embody these three promises in the throws of parenting.
Practical Tools Gentle Parents can use Today
Below are hands-on strategies Amanda shares with parents that are low-effort and high-impact. Use them when you’re in the thick of a moment, or as daily practices to reset your home culture.
1. Hand-on-heart reset
When you feel triggered, place your hand on your heart for a few breaths. Name the feeling silently: “I am feeling anxious” or “I am irritated.” This small pause helps your nervous system shift from reactivity to curiosity. Gentle parents use this as a micro-skill to calm and show up with presence.
2. The “I feel” script (no shaming, just stating)
When you need to set boundaries with a caregiver, partner, or grandparent, lead with gratitude and then state what you need. Example script:
“I’m grateful you help with Thalia on Tuesdays. There’s something important to our family: when our child is upset, we respond with calm and connection. Could you try this approach when she’s having a big feeling?”
Gentle parents often find that framed requests with a clear why work better than judgments or demands.
3. Let the toys do the talking
Children communicate through play. If your kiddo is acting out a story with stuffed animals, they may be reenacting a feeling or scenario they can’t yet articulate. Sit alongside them and follow their lead instead of asking too many questions. Play becomes the window into their inner life.
4. Calming language and de-escalation phrases
When emotions run high, these phrases help de-escalate and model expression:
“I see you’re feeling really big feelings right now. I’m here with you.”
“It’s okay to feel angry/sad/scared. Your feelings are not bad.”
“Can I help you name what you’re feeling?”
“When you’re ready, tell me what you needed in that moment.”
5. Use play to teach regulation
Turn nervous-system skills into games: breathe like a dragon, blow the bubbles slowly, or use a stuffed animal to “model” slow breathing. Gentle parents who embed regulation into play find that children learn faster and more joyfully.
How to talk about emotions without burdening a sensitive child
Sensitive children often already feel what adults feel. Telling them “I’m fine” when you’re not creates confusion. Instead, be honest without assigning responsibility: “I’m feeling a little sad about something, but I’m okay and you don’t need to fix it.”
That sentence does three things for gentle parents:
It validates your child’s sensing ability.
It models emotional honesty.
It sets a clear boundary that the child is not responsible for fixing an adult’s emotions.
Play-based learning: the gentle parents’ secret weapon
Play is the developmentally appropriate way children process the world. Compared to an adult therapy session, a child’s “therapy” happens when they play. Play-based learning is how children learn language, regulation, problem-solving, and social skills.
Gentle parents can use play intentionally by:
Getting on their level—literally. Sit on the floor and play alongside them.
Following their lead—what interests them? Join that world instead of imposing your agenda.
Using toys to role-play the challenge—this allows children to experiment with solutions without real-world consequences.
Shutting down interrogations—questions can shut play down; instead, narrate (“The blue bear looks sad”) and offer choices.
Practical play ideas for busy gentle parents
Here are simple, doable activities that create connection and teach regulation without needing elaborate setups:
Bubble breathing: blow bubbles together and encourage slow exhales.
Stuffed-animal check-ins: ask each toy how they feel and why.
Role-play school or store where feelings are badges kids can trade in for help or a hug.
Imaginative puppet shows where a character experiences a big feeling and discovers a tool to feel better.
Simple sensory bins: rice, beans, or water play that allows for tactile regulation.
Remember: you don’t need to be “creative” to play well. Gentle parents often worry they’ll do play wrong. Start small. Offer presence. Let the toys do the talking.
Mess, sensory play, and the inner child of the parent
A common obstacle for gentle parents is discomfort with mess. Sensory play is transformative for kids, but the cleanup can trigger adult anxiety. The key is curiosity: ask yourself, “Why is messiness scary for me?”
Possible answers might include:
You weren’t allowed to be messy as a child and still carry that rule.
You equate mess with chaos and loss of control.
Practical concerns—cleaning time, limited space, or shared living constraints.
Once you know the why, choose a solution that honors both parent and child:
Create a “mess zone” where sensory play is okay.
Play outside, use tarps, or do messy activities at the kitchen table with easy cleanup tools on hand.
Set a time boundary: “Let’s play messy for 20 minutes and then we’ll clean together.”
Do inner-child work—give yourself permission to be messy sometimes.
This was something I really struggled with but these suggestions from Amanda really helped!
The generational gap: how gentle parents navigate family caregiving
Many gentle parents rely on grandparents, babysitters, or relatives who parent differently. Amanda’s advice for bridging that generation gap focuses on clarity and compassion:
Get clear on your family values first. What matters most—kindness, calm, consistent boundaries? You can’t communicate what you don’t know.
Practice the conversation. Use role-play or the “empty chair” method to rehearse what you’ll say.
Lead with appreciation, then request. Express gratitude for help, then share the specific approach you’d like them to try.
Offer a simple script. People respond better when given concrete, bite-sized guidance—e.g., “When she’s upset, we wait five minutes and then ask, ‘Can I help you name that feeling?’”
Set compassionate boundaries. If someone can’t or won’t adapt, protect your child’s needs by limiting exposure or arranging alternative care.
Gentle parents who model respectful, clear communication often find that grandparents and caregivers respond with curiosity rather than defensiveness.
Reparenting: how healing yourself heals your child
Conscious parenting asks adults to do inner work. Reparenting your inner child can be powerful for gentle parents because it changes the stories you carry into parenting moments. Amanda suggests practical approaches:
Journal prompts: “What rule about parenting did I learn as a child?” “Which part of my inner child still feels unheard?”
Empty-chair exercise: role-play a conversation between your adult self and your inner-child self to hear unmet needs.
Micro-practices: small soothing rituals (hand-on-heart, breathing, a short meditation) before difficult moments.
Therapy or coaching: get external support to process patterns you cannot shift alone.
When gentle parents do this work, it ripples out: less reactive adults, more secure children, and a calmer household overall.
Words that help: scripts gentle parents can use
Here are ready-to-use lines for different scenarios. Keep them handy; gentle parents appreciate practical language that works in the moment.
When a child is overwhelmed: “I see you’re feeling big feelings. I’ll stay with you until they pass.”
When you must set a limit: “I love you and I can’t let you hit. Let’s find another way to get that anger out.”
When you need to ask a caregiver to try a different approach: “We’re trying to teach our kids to name feelings before consequences. Could you pause and ask them what they’re feeling first?”
When your child mirrors your emotions: “I’m feeling sad today. You don’t need to fix it, but a hug would help, do you want one too?”
When you want to offer a regulation tool: “Let’s blow out five slow breaths like a dragon and see how your body feels.”
Bonus: 10 quick de-escalation phrases for the gentle parents’ pocket
“I see you. I’m here.”
“Your feelings are safe here.”
“It’s okay to feel that.”
“I can’t fix this for you, but I can sit with you.”
“Tell me more when you’re ready.”
“Let’s take three slow breaths together.”
“Can you show me with the toy how you feel?”
“Thank you for telling me. I hear you.”
“I will help you find a way to feel better.”
“You’re not alone in this.”
When to get extra support: programs and coaching
Gentle parents aren’t supposed to do it all alone. There are both self-paced and individualized options to get more help. One such resource is a three-week program created by Amanda Evans, designed specifically for families with sensitive children:
Supporting Your Sensitive Child — a three-week, self-paced digital program with modules on play, communication, and grounding tools so parents can feel calmer and learn what to say in the moment.
Community access for shared wins, questions, and support from other gentle parents.
Private coaching for deeper one-on-one work, reparenting, and decoding a child’s messages.
Programs like these are practical because they combine skill-building with emotional support. Gentle parents often find that learning a few phrases and play tools can transform daily life.
Gentle Parents Frequently Asked Questions
How is conscious parenting different from gentle parenting?
Conscious parenting is the mindset of awareness and self-reflection—looking at your triggers, your history, and how you respond. Gentle parenting is the applied approach: the day-to-day ways you speak, set boundaries, and use empathy. Together they create a cohesive path for raising emotionally intelligent children.
What is gentle parenting for a child who has big tantrums?
Gentle parenting for children with big tantrums focuses on regulation first (helping both parent and child calm physiological arousal), naming emotions, validating feelings, and then problem-solving. Avoid punitive measures that escalate fear; use simple, consistent tools: a hand-on-heart reset, slow breathing games, and reflective statements (“I see you’re angry; can you show me what you need?”).
How can I introduce sensory play if I hate the mess?
Start by discovering why mess feels scary. Then set boundaries that honor both needs: choose a mess-friendly zone (outdoors or a tarp), set a time limit, use washable materials, or agree to clean up together as part of the play. Over time, you may notice your inner resistance soften as you re-parent your inner child.
Can gentle parenting work if my partner uses a different style?
Yes—if both of you can get clear about the family values you want to model. Start by aligning on a few key principles, rehearse conversations, and use compassionate boundaries with caregivers. If necessary, invite a coach to mediate and create a parenting plan that honors both perspectives.
What are the first steps to reparenting as a busy parent?
Begin with micro-practices: five breaths before reacting, a daily one-minute check-in with your feelings (hand-on-heart), and a weekly 10-minute reflective journaling prompt about your “backpack.” Over time, these small habits compound and make bigger changes possible.
Final thoughts for gentle parents
Gentle parenting and conscious parenting are both invitations—to slow down, to be curious, and to choose connection over control. You don’t need perfect answers, only a few reliable tools and the willingness to try different approaches. Start with play, guard your nervous system, and practice honest, compassionate communication. When you do, you give your child not only emotional safety but also permission to be their authentic, sensitive self.
Small consistent changes—playful moments, honest words, tiny self-regulation practices—add up. For gentle parents, that slow accumulation is the real magic.
Resources and Next Steps
If you’re ready to learn more practical tools, consider exploring structured courses like Amanda's on supporting sensitive children or book a coaching connection to work through the specific challenges in your family. Or follow her on social media for more tips @mind_body_soul_miracles.
A Reminder for Gentle Parents: you don’t have to do everything perfectly. Keep showing up. Keep playing. Keep learning. The small steps you take today create a calmer family culture tomorrow.
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Give us a follow if you're ready to take life from good to great, you'll be the first to know when we share more about motherhood and business. If it really resonated, the kids and I would do a happy dance if you left us a review 💗 ~ Brittany
00:00 Intro
2:25 Getting to know Amanda
7:40 Defining conscience parenting
16:00 The importance of honesty with your children
20:20 The generational gap
30:00 Nickname
35:36 Play-based learning, what it is and how to do it
39:30 Playing with kids
46:30 Wrap up
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