I blinked and I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy already (yikes!) which means that it’s time to decide if I want to find out the baby’s gender!
When I told my mom I was planning to find out the gender with Thalia she got really upset and tried to convince me not to. My mom didn’t find out for me or my brother and kept pushing for Grayson and I to keep it a surprise. She said not knowing made the birthing process easier because you were just so excited to meet your baby and find out whether it was a girl or boy that you weren’t focusing as much on the pain. I could see the logic in what she was saying, and I wanted to consider that as an option.
The decision to know or not was as much of a debate the second time around as it was the first. For Thalia, I really, REALLY wanted to go shopping and paint the nursery and do all the fun things parents do when they find out they’re expecting. One thing I noticed as I started shopping was that finding gender neutral clothing was rather difficult. I know some parents are flexible with putting a girl in boy’s clothes and vice versa. I’m also not opposed to it and have on occasion picked up a few ‘boy’ items for Thalia to wear.
I found out while shopping that I might be obsessed with buying all pieces of clothing with construction equipment on it. I know it sounds kind of odd, but my Dad runs heavy equipment for a living, and I think it would be adorable for my kids to wear them in pictures with Grandpa! I know it will be so cute and special for him when I do! After much debate, the realization that we would need to know the gender to stock the baby’s closet for when they arrived, coupled with mine and Gray’s curiosity, finally swayed the decision for us and we decided that we were going to find out the gender for Thalia. There are so many cute girls and boy’s clothes out there and I wanted to be able to buy the cute items instead of the meh ones that were gender neutral. I don’t regret for a minute finding out that I was having a girl with Thalia but with Baby #2, my mom asked me again if I was sure I wanted to find out. This time I wasn’t so sure I did.
I didn’t have the same sense of urgency to find out the second time. Now that I’ve had a child, I can see why a lot of people wait for it to be a surprise. Once you have newborn items like change tables and strollers, I’ve realized it’s not necessarily as pressing to have boy or girl clothes ready prior to the baby arriving. It would be easy enough to bring a going home outfit for either sex and then do a little shopping to fill their closet after the baby arrives. Especially since nowadays shopping online is the norm and delivery is usually free and very quick.
To my surprise, it was my mom and Grayson who encouraged me to find out the gender. My mom is already planning for the fall and has slowly started stocking our house with food before the predicted second wave of COVID-19 hits. Since I’m prone to shopping, she preferred that I did it in the summer time while the numbers were lower. She’s concerned, but less so with me going out now when there aren’t very many cases in the St. Thomas area and what I purchase won’t have to be cleaned as aggressively then things will need to be if numbers are higher again. I will likely do some shopping online in the fall and winter, but will appreciate the opportunity to do a little in store shopping while I can.
I’ll be the first to admit that the majority of Thalia’s clothes were not purchased from a name brand store. I have been known to visit Carter’s, Gymboree, and a few other stores on occasion, but for the most part I buy her clothes second hand. I have a hard time rationalizing spending $45 on a dress I’m going to put her in for a picture once and never use again. I would much rather spend $4 or $5 for a dress and be able to save a little money to pay off debt or put towards her RESP. Grayson was advocating to find out for a different reason.
Back when I was pregnant with Thalia, I had a dream in my first trimester that I had a little boy and was convinced for the entire first half of my pregnancy that I was having a boy. I’ve always said that I wanted two kids, a girl and a boy, and have always been keen on having at least one of both. After having Thalia, Gray realized exactly how much work kids are, and I think he decided he wanted as few as possible. I think he was asking to find out the gender of Baby #2 to know whether I’m done at 2 or if we’d be having more.
I’d also hinted to the fact that I think it’s best to have children in even numbers. I’ve talked to a lot of parents with three that wish they had had a fourth. They seem to think it wouldn’t be that much additional work and then you don’t have a child that is always left out since kids seem to play in pairs. I know that regardless, I’ll be happy if this baby is a girl or a boy. If I have a boy then I have succeeded in having one of each and if it’s a girl then I have an excuse to have two more kids. Either way it seems like a win-win to me!
I agreed to find out the gender since Mom and Gray both wanted me too, and I did too. In my pregnancy announcement blog post (click here to read it) I talked about wanting to make sure I’m doing special things for both kids so one doesn’t feel more loved or more important than the other. Doing a pregnancy announcement was part of that, and I decided that it would be special to do a gender reveal since Baby #2 likely isn’t getting a baby shower. I made a point to keep the reveal small, not that we could have had a large gathering anyway, and I made it clear that it was just a way for us to share the news with family and a few close friends while still doing something special for Baby #2.
I found the 18-20 week ultrasound bittersweet with Thalia and I feel the same again this time around. Once I decided to find out what I was having I was incredibly curious and impatient to book the ultrasound, which is why it was scheduled for part way through my 18th week instead of my 20th week like last time. I wanted to find out if I’m going to be having a boy or a girl soon but it means I won't see the baby again until he/she arrives at Christmas time which feels like it’s a lifetime away still!
Knowing the gender is almost a trade off to knowing that you won’t be seeing the baby again for another 20ish weeks. I didn't feel Thalia moving around much until halfway through my third trimester so I spent a lot of time worrying about whether she was okay. I haven't felt Baby #2 moving around much yet either and not having more ultrasounds means that I'll be worrying again this time, just hopefully not as much.
My ultrasound was booked for July 29th and I asked my friend Rachel to plan the gender reveal for that evening so I wouldn’t have to wait too long. With Thalia, I invited my parents and Grayson’s parents to join us at the hospital so we could all find out at the same time. I didn’t know how long the ultrasound would be and both of our dads were pacing the waiting room floor wondering how much longer it was going to take. I don’t think either of them were that curious, it’s more so that neither of them are very patient.
With COVID going on, I figured having an entourage at my ultrasound would be frowned upon this time and plus, if I didn’t take them, the waiting room floor might survive a few years longer without their pacing. The plan was for the ultrasound technician to write down the baby’s gender on a piece of paper that I would seal in an envelope (I didn’t trust myself not to peek) and then I’d drop it off at Rachel’s on my way home. Then I just had to wait until that evening to find out. Since I had invited my family, Gray’s family, Rachel since she was planning it, and my friend Zoe (who planned my baby shower) I figured it would be best to meet outdoors so we could social distance and not have to wear masks in the photos. When I set the gender reveal date it didn’t occur to me to check the weather. It hardly rains in the summer so I didn’t think much of it. Naturally, July 29th rolls again and when I check the weather it calls for rain in the evening. I leave for my ultrasound and cross my fingers that the weatherman’s wrong.
I’m always worried that I won’t have had enough water before my ultrasounds and they’ll make me reschedule, but this time I knew I really overdid it. I walked out the door with my legs crossed and prayed that it wouldn’t be a bumpy ride or a long wait when I got there. Thankfully, they saw me almost immediately. I walked into the room and excitedly told the technician about my gender reveal plan… She pointed to a sign on the wall that said, “Technicians are not allowed to interpret results for patients”. I was confused and annoyed that I would have to reschedule the gender reveal and wait even longer to find out what I was having! I had Thalia’s ultrasound barely a year ago and they told me at the hospital with both sets of our parents in the room so I was surprised they changed the rules.
I’m glad I didn’t have an entourage with me because they would have had a long wait for nothing! The technician said they’d call their manager at the end and see if they could make an exception, so I settled down for the scan and crossed my fingers. This was a long ultrasound and needing to use the washroom made it feel even longer! At the end of the ultrasound the technician called their manager but couldn’t get through so they said I could call my doctor in 24-48 hours and they would give me the results or I could look at the pictures and see for myself.
I was torn. I didn’t want to reschedule the gender reveal, but I was hoping it would be a surprise for me too! It took all of 3 seconds for me to decide that I wanted to see the pictures. Impatience and curiosity are a bad combination sometimes. They brought the photos up and I won’t lie, I didn’t even see a baby at first let alone the gender! I knew from my ultrasound with Thalia that the scan would have 3 white lines if it was a girl, and I assumed if it was a boy I would see a small penis but I wasn’t sure. The technician showed me where the baby’s legs were but didn’t tell me the gender. I left happy, like I said, I would be happy either way but now I knew for sure. Seeing really is believing! I called Rachel to tell her what happened, and it started to rain. I was glad I knew instead of having to wait until we were able to reschedule!
Keeping it to myself was incredibly difficult! I went shopping a few times to try and contain my excitement. Grayson was with Thalia and I the one day when we went to Carter’s, and I had to send him outside so I could pick up a few items for the baby without spoiling the surprise for him. We tried to reschedule the reveal for the weekend, but it rained for days. It was a full week before we finally had nice weather.
While we were waiting to reschedule, I conducted a poll to see whether people thought we would be having. It was pretty evenly split. My parents, Gray’s Dad, Rachel and Zoe thought I would be having a girl and Grayson, Braden, Craig, Gray’s mom and I all thought I would be having a boy. I really was thinking boy because this time around, my pregnancy has been so much different. I’m tired all the time, I had weird nausea that meant I was hungry, I didn’t crave chocolate, and I haven’t had as many migraines and heartburn as I did with Thalia. I assumed a pregnancy that was that drastically different from my first would mean that I was having the opposite gender.
My mom and I did the unscientific needle/ring test before my ultrasound and it said girl. The test was right with Thalia, but I figured that could have been a coincidence. Who knows, maybe the needle only spins the one direction for me? I took the answer with a grain of salt and continued to think I was having a boy.
August 5th was a lovely day to do a gender reveal at the park. When I got there, I found out Rachel had filled black balloons with coloured glitter. I was given a dart and was told to pop the balloons until I found one with the colour of the baby’s gender. Grayson was tasked with holding the balloons. He was terrified I was going to stab him with the dart. I kind of don’t blame him, my track record with darts isn’t great. I started popping balloons and saw green and orange glitter coming out. It felt like I popped balloons for an eternity, even though it was only 2 minutes. Time has a way of dragging on when you’re waiting for exciting news!
Finally I hit the right balloon, the last one, and Grayson took a glitter shower (he’ll be shaking glitter off his clothes for days) but we’re excited to announce that we’re having a … watch the video to find out!
I think Grayson was a little shocked that his gender guess was wrong, but after the initial surprise he seemed excited. I think he was also excited that I was done waving a dart around his hand! To celebrate a little bit further we took a few pictures while Rachel showered us with purple confetti (pink wasn’t available at the store). Poor Thalia was so confused, but it made for cute pictures.
Overall, I was very excited to share the news with our family and my friends, and even though I knew in advance what we were having I had a lot of fun at the reveal and I’m happy we did it! I can’t wait to meet her and I’m so excited to be starting my own girl gang! I hope that Thalia and Baby #2 will have a strong sisterly connection! Next steps are to start thinking about a name and do more shopping!
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