58. The Great Name Debate: How We Narrowed Down Unique Baby Names for Baby #4
- Brittany Miller
- May 24, 2024
- 12 min read
Updated: Dec 21, 2025
Choosing a baby name is one of those unexpectedly big decisions that sits somewhere between sentimental tradition and logistical practicality. For our family—three kids in, a fourth on the way—the process of hunting for unique baby names- has become part comedy, part strategy session, and part creative scavenger hunt. In this article I’ll walk you through a practical, empathetic, and slightly humorous approach to finding the perfect name: how to set criteria, how to vet ideas, how to cope when partners disagree, and how to land on a name that actually feels like home.
Here, you’ll find encouragement, practical tips, and honest conversations about balancing family, work, and your own sense of self. My hope is that you’ll walk away feeling a little lighter, a little more seen, and a whole lot more equipped to create a life that works for you and your family. Follow me on Instagram @brittanynmiller_ for more.
Table of Contents
Why the obsession with unique baby names?
Names carry weight. They anchor identity, reflect values, and sometimes hold family history inside a single syllable. Wanting a name that stands out—unique baby names-—isn’t just vanity. It’s a desire to give a child something memorable and meaningful in a world where first impressions matter more than ever. That said, “unique” doesn’t mean bizarre. The best unique baby names walk the line between distinct and wearable: memorable today, dignified tomorrow.
When we started this search for unique baby names for our fourth child, we realized quickly how many factors subtly matter: pronunciation, spelling, sibling-name harmony, family expectations, nicknames, cultural meanings, and even whether the name pairs well with the middle name and surname. All of these elements can make the difference between an inspired choice and a regretful name change years later.
Setting naming criteria: a short checklist
Before you open a baby name book or scroll endless Instagram lists, I recommend setting clear criteria. For our search for unique baby names, we established a handful of rules to keep the process manageable and to protect our sanity.
Pronounceable and readable: If you can’t say it confidently out loud, it will be mispronounced and misspelled endlessly. We prioritized names where the phonetic expectation matched the spelling.
Distinct but wearable: We wanted unique baby names that wouldn’t invite ridicule or feel like a costume. Distinct = interesting; wearable = respectful and timeless.
Not too similar to siblings: Our kids already have names beginning with certain letters and we wanted balance, not repetition.
Good nickname potential (or not): Decide in advance if you’ll tolerate shortened forms. Nicknames often happen organically, and some drivers of dislike stem from a name’s inevitable short form. Personally, I hat nicknames and try to avoid names that can be shortened.
Middle name compatibility: Some first and middle combinations create unfortunate acronyms or awkward rhythms. Test them together to avoid surprises.
Cultural respect and meaning: If a name comes from another culture, learn the meaning and ensure respectful use.
Our name-hunting method
Our approach to finding unique baby names combined old-fashioned baby name books with a candid, recorded conversation (because why not turn chaos into content?). Here’s what worked for us and what you can adapt.
Start broad: One person compiled a long list of names that felt interesting. This stage is about quantity, not judgment—100 names is fine.
Group by letter and style: We grouped names alphabetically so we could cross-reference sibling initials, avoid repeating first-letter trends, and spot hidden patterns.
First-pass veto: Each partner silently crossed off immediate no-go names—this avoids long debates over clearly incompatible options.
Discuss the middle third: We sat down and talked through the remaining names, dropping those with pronunciation issues, awkward associations, or family objections.
Shortlist to a top three: Narrowing to three forced clarity; then letting the list “marinate” prevented last-minute panic decisions in the hospital corridor.
Test it in real life: Say the name with sibling names, the surname, and the middle name. Say it loudly, whisper it, and read it on a sheet of paper to see how it lands.
Using this method we turned a mountain of names into a focused shortlist of unique baby names that felt like they could actually belong to our child.
Common naming pitfalls and how to avoid them
There are predictable traps people walk into when selecting unique baby names. Here are the ones we saw during our process and how we sidestepped them.
Chasing trends: Naming something trendy can feel fresh now but dated later. If you want a name that ages well, weigh current popularity against classic resonance.
Overemphasizing uniqueness: Unusual spelling or invented names can create lifelong burdens for children—constant spelling corrections and pronunciation lessons. Consider subtle uniqueness: less-common names spelled conventionally.
Ignoring family dynamics: Family opinions can be strong. Decide which family traditions matter and where you’ll stand your ground. It’s okay to compromise on middle names.
Not testing initials: Always check acronyms. First, middle, last—pronounced fast—shouldn’t spell anything unfortunate.
Not imagining adulthood: Consider how a name will feel at 5, 25, 50. Unique baby names can be youthful or dignified; aim for both.
Allowing nicknames to derail you: If a potential nickname bothers you, either reject the name or accept that nickname control is limited.
Balancing “unique” with “normal”: practical techniques
For many parents, the sweet spot is a name that sounds personal but won’t be a daily struggle. Here are techniques that helped us sift unique baby names from impractical ones:
Pick an uncommon classic: Names like Gideon or Callum are not mainstream but have history and easy pronunciation. They often feel both unique and familiar.
Use a familiar root with a twist: Slightly different spellings or older forms of familiar names can yield unique baby names without inventing entirely new words.
Leverage middle names: If you want a bold first name, choose a traditional middle to create balance.
Test with existing kids’ names: Practice calling the whole family to see if names harmonize or clash.
How to handle disagreements (a real-life case)
When one partner loves a name the other can’t stand, the process can quickly turn into a tug-of-war. We learned a few conflict-minimizing strategies while arguing over unique baby names for our fourth child:
Use a neutral shortlist: Each person lists favourites privately, then compare. The intersection becomes the “safe” zone for compromise.
Reserve veto power: Agree on one absolute veto per person. That prevents endless rehashing and acknowledges both voices.
Introduce humor: Name brainstorming benefits from levity. We deliberately threw in outlandish names to lighten the mood (and to expose which suggestions were just for laughs).
Delay final decision: Let names “marinate.” Sleep on the top three at least before committing. Emotions settle and clarity often follows.
What to do when family weighs in
Families will have opinions—loving, loud, and sometimes surprising. We learned to pick our battles and elevate what mattered most to us. For example, including a grandmother’s name as a middle name honored family without making the first name someone else’s preference. That compromise makes unique baby names feel respectful without ceding control.
Practical name vetting checklist
Here's a quick vetting checklist to run every name through before it becomes a contender in your search for unique baby names:
Say it aloud: full name, first + middle, first + surname.
Spell it: make sure it’s readable and practical.
Test nickname potential: are there obvious shortenings or embarrassing variants?
Check meaning: especially for names from other cultures.
Look up famous associations: positive or negative?
Check initials for unfortunate acronyms.
Imagine adult scenarios: job interviews, résumés, professional settings.
Names we considered (real-world examples)
To help you think through style, I’ll share a curated selection of the types of names that made our long list of unique baby names (with short notes on why they were liked or vetoed). These examples show the range from classic but uncommon, to modern alternatives, to names with strong cultural roots.
Adrian — Timeless and relatively uncommon; borderline mainstream but felt solid.
Alaric — Distinct and historical; risked mispronunciation and being “too fantasy.”
Bryce — Familiar yet not overly common; felt a little plain for our taste.
Callum — A Scottish classic with nice rhythm; one partner had an association with someone they knew.
Declan — Modern and melodic; one partner found the cadence off-putting.
Gideon — Old-fashioned but sturdy; topped lists for its character and balance.
Keegan — Energetic and modern; ultimately removed due to personal associations.
Luca — Soft, stylish, and international; rose to the top of our shortlist.
Nolan — Clean and mainstream-but-distinct; compromise on spelling sparked a debate.
Finnley / Finley — On-trend and soft; leaned more feminine to one partner.
These examples show the reality that names evoke different responses depending on taste, family history, and pop culture exposure. A name that feels perfect to one partner can feel wrong to another.
Long list of name categories for inspiration
If you’re hunting for unique baby names, below are categories and representative examples to spark ideas. Each category blends uniqueness with wearability so you can find a name that fits your family’s tone.
Classic with a twist: Gideon, Alaric, Adrian.
International & melodic: Luca, Matteo, Soren.
Old-fashioned revival: Silas, Edmund, Theodore.
Modern short names: Knox, Jace, Finn.
Nature-inspired: Rowan, Cedar, Oakley.
Short and strong: Reid, Cole, Tate.
Soft and lyrical: Eloi, Emory, Keegan.
Use these categories to steer your searches. Often a category resonates and narrows your options faster than flipping randomly through a name book.
How we handled sibling-name harmony
One practical constraint for us was sibling-name harmony. With three kids already, we didn’t want the fourth’s name to feel mismatched or repetitive. Here’s how we balanced that concern:
Avoid matching initial overload: If two kids already have names starting with R, we avoided adding a third R unless there was a compelling reason.
Consider rhythm and cadence: If your children’s names are short and punchy, a long multi-syllabic name might feel off in the family roll call.
Think thematic links: You can create subtle cohesion through meaning (joy, strength, light) rather than phonetics.
The middle-name strategy
Middle names are a golden compromise. They allow you to honor family members, include a surname, or balance a daring first name with a classic middle. We used middle names to:
Recognize relatives without forcing the family to use the name daily.
Offset an unusual first name with a grounded, traditional middle name.
Prevent awkward acronyms by testing first + middle + last combinations early.
One tip: write down the initials and say them quickly to check for accidentally offensive combinations. We nearly vetoed a combination that sounded like a swear word when said out loud—changing the middle name fixed it instantly.
Tools to find and test unique baby names
There are practical tools that make this process easier and less emotional. We used a mix of the following when hunting for unique baby names:
Baby-name books: The tactile experience of flipping pages sparks ideas that algorithmic lists don’t.
Online databases: Sites that list name meanings and histories help you avoid cultural missteps.
Social tests: Try the name in conversation with friends to get first impressions.
Search engines: Google the full name to see if there are notable people with the same name or any problematic associations.
Nickname imagination game: Brainstorm every possible shortening so nothing surprises you later.
How to make the final call
When you and your partner finally narrow to a top three, try this low-pressure decision ritual that worked for us:
Drop each name into a full-sentence script: “If you were calling me into the kitchen you would say, ‘Luca, come here.’” Notice how it feels in real life.
Sleep on each name for a week. See which name you say most often in your head when you imagine the baby.
Imagine official documents and social situations—introductions, teacher roll calls, LinkedIn profiles.
Finally, remember that babies often shape their names. The right name reveals itself when you meet them. That’s why holding off the final, legal decision until after a short bonding time can be helpful for some parents.
When people ask “Have you announced the gender?”
One practical aside: whether to announce gender publicly can influence name debates. We didn’t post a public gender reveal for every child. For some parents, announcing gender narrows the name search and invites advice—wanted or not. If you prefer a quiet naming process, keep it private until the name feels settled.
Personal reflections: what we learned about naming and partnership
Picking unique baby names revealed some unexpected dynamics in our relationship. For example:
One partner tends to pick adventurous choices while the other clings to practicality. That difference is complementary if you set clear compromises.
Humor saved us. When we tossed out wildly impractical ideas on purpose, the tension eased and real contenders emerged.
Letting names marinate helped—if it felt forced, it usually wasn’t the right pick.
Ultimately, the exercise strengthened our ability to communicate, negotiate, and consider legacy. Naming a child is a joint act of creation—and like most creative acts, it’s better with collaboration and a little patience.
Shortlist reveal and next steps
At the end of our recorded session we arrived at a short list that reflected both our personalities: a mix of wearable classics and modern, slightly offbeat choices. We agreed on a top name that felt like a real possibility (and both partners picked the same name as number one—an unusual and satisfying alignment). After that, we planned to live with it for a few weeks, say it aloud in different contexts, and finally let the baby’s presence confirm or redirect our choice.
Pro tip: if both partners spontaneously love the same name, that’s usually a strong sign. Still, do the due diligence checks above to make sure the name is not only lovable but practical.
Final reflections on choosing unique baby names
Choosing a name is equal parts emotional intuition and practical decision-making. We learned that having a clear process—like setting criteria, doing wide initial brainstorming, thoughtful narrowing of favourites, and real-world testing—turns a chaotic search into something manageable and even fun. Whether you’re searching for unique baby names or leaning toward a family name, following a method helps you make a choice you’ll feel proud of for years to come.
Remember: the perfect name often reveals itself through a combination of logic and feeling. Respect the practical checks, but don’t ignore the moment when a name just feels right. That’s as important as any checklist.
Good luck, and enjoy the search. When the right name appears, you’ll know it—not because it’s the most unique baby names on a list, but because it feels like it belongs to the tiny person you can’t wait to meet.
FAQ about unique baby names
How do we pick a name that’s unique but not too out there?
Start with names that have historical or cultural roots but aren’t overused. Choose names that are uncommon but have established spellings and pronunciations so your child isn’t forced to constantly correct people. Test first + middle + last together and imagine the name across life stages to ensure it ages well.
What should we do if one partner loves a name and the other hates it?
Use a compromise framework: each partner gets one veto, create a joint shortlist, and allow names to marinate for a week or two. Introduce humor into the process and consider middle names as places for compromise.
How important is checking initials and acronyms?
Very important. First, middle, and last initials can accidentally spell words or phrases that may be awkward or embarrassing. Saying initials quickly and testing first + middle + last aloud can prevent surprises.
Should we consider family traditions or cultural meanings?
Yes. Decide which family traditions are important and whether honoring a relative as a middle name suffices. If using names from other cultures, research meanings and contexts to ensure respectful use.
When should we make the name official?
Many parents wait until after birth to finalize the name, giving them time to meet their baby and see which name feels right. A short trial period post-birth can be helpful; however, if you must name the child right away for paperwork, choose a name you both feel comfortable with and be open to adjusting the middle name later if needed.
Are trendy names a bad idea?
Not necessarily, but trends come and go. If you pick a trendy name, consider whether you’ll still be happy with it in 20 years. Balancing trendiness with classic elements helps the name age gracefully.
How do we handle nicknames that we don’t like?
You can attempt to steer nickname use by consistently using the full name and politely correcting others. But often nicknames develop organically. If a likely nickname bothers you, reconsider the base name or accept that you won’t always control what others call your child.
What resources help find unique baby names?
Use baby-name books, reputable online name databases that include origins and meanings, social feedback from trusted friends, and search engines to check for notable or problematic associations. Combine these tools with your own shortlist and vetting process.
How many names should we shortlist?
A top three gives you choices without overwhelming you. Let those three marinate and test them in real-life scenarios—calling the child into a room, saying the name during introductions, and imagining the name on official documents.
Come say hi!
Ready to level up your life and business taking it from good to great? Hit follow and please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode! The kids and I might even bust out a happy dance! 💗 - Brittany
00:00 Intro
1:30 Criteria for baby names
4:15 Brittany's name list
26:45 Our top 3
34:00 Wrap up
Comments