38. My Holiday Survival Guide: A Practical Self Care Checklist to Keep Your S.M.I.L.E. During Christmas Chaos with Shelley Meche'tte
- Brittany Miller
- Dec 19, 2023
- 15 min read
Updated: Oct 20
I’m Brittany — a mom, small-business owner, and host of the Go Get Great podcast — and if you are reading this, you probably know that the holidays can flip everything upside down. Between cookie swaps, school concerts, extended family logistics, and the pressure to create “perfect” memories, it’s easy to get swept into a season of high expectations and low peace. That’s why I invited Shelley Meche’te, a mom life strategist and best-selling author, onto the podcast to unpack one simple, memorable framework that has helped her and so many other women: a S.M.I.L.E. strategy supported by a real-life, doable self care checklist.
In this blog I’ll walk you through everything Shelley and I talked through — her origin story, the mom-type framework she uses to help women align priorities, the full S.M.I.L.E. acronym explained with actionable steps, plus a holiday-ready self care checklist you can start using today. I’ll also cover how to communicate boundaries with family, simple delegation tactics, rest strategies that actually work, and how to carry this into a guilt-free start to the new year.
This article is for hands-on moms (and humans) who want a real plan — not perfection.
If we haven't met yet, I’m Brittany, an online marketing strategist for female entrepreneurs. I teach women how to make their entrepreneurial dreams a reality through smart, actionable marketing strategies that get them seen, loved, and paid. Whether you’re eager to DIY your way to success or hire professionals to help you along the way–my goal is to make sure you walk away with the clarity you need to see the results you desire and build a life you love.
Table of Contents
Why I Started Talking About Self Care
I started the Go Get Great podcast to bridge the gap between entrepreneurship and motherhood — two worlds that are often presented as competing priorities. Over the years I’ve interviewed dozens of people who taught me one truth: you don’t have to choose who you are. You can be a driven business owner and a present parent. But only if you protect your energy and plan for it.
That’s why Shelley’s work resonated with me. Her story of leaving entertainment to be a present mom, discovering a lost identity, and then reclaiming it through coaching and strategy reminded me that self care is not a luxury — it’s an operational necessity. When the holidays arrive, the margin between joy and friction shrinks. A simple, clear self care checklist becomes the difference between savoring the season and surviving it.
Meet Shelley Meche’te
Shelley Meche’te’s story is honest and relatable. She grew up in a shifting family dynamic, started in the entertainment industry, and became a single working mom who realized she couldn't keep missing moments with her daughter. When she left her job to be home, she discovered she’d also left a core part of her identity behind. Standing in front of the mirror one day, vulnerable and raw, she decided to reclaim herself. That transformation led to coaching certifications, books like 70 Days of Happy, and the role she leans into now: mom life strategist.
Shelley’s path illustrates an important point: self care is also identity work. When we create a real self care checklist, we’re not just scheduling pampering sessions; we’re rebuilding the daily habits that keep our sense of self intact while we give to others.
Mom Types: Why One Size Doesn’t Fit All
One of the most useful pieces of Shelley's approach is what she calls “mom types.” I love this because it removes the shame or confusion of using the wrong strategy for your current season. She outlines broad categories — married mom, single mom, divorced mom, widowed mom, stay-at-home mom — and then invites you to subcategorize based on what your life looks like right now (working 9–5, working from home, single parent of teens, etc.).
Why this matters for your self care checklist: your list should be tailored to your mom type and your top three priorities within that role. If your mom type is a single working mom with three teens, your checklist will look very different than a stay-at-home mom of toddlers. The goal is not to compare, but to personalize.
Step 1: Identify your primary mom type.
Step 2: List your top three priorities for that season.
Step 3: Build a tailored self care checklist that fits those priorities and the pockets of time you actually have.
Once you have identified these, you can start to build your S.M.I.L.E. checklist.
The S.M.I.L.E. Framework — My favourite Holiday Selfcare Checklist Tool
Shelley created a memorable framework to help moms “hold onto their smile” during holiday chaos: S.M.I.L.E.
It’s an acronym that stands for:
S — Set the tone
M — Maintain boundaries
I — Intentional rest
L — Let go
E — Enjoy the moments
I’ll expand each letter and connect it to practical actions you can put on your personalized self care checklist. Think of S.M.I.L.E. as the philosophy and your checklist as the daily operating manual.
S = Set the Tone
Everything starts with tone. What kind of holiday do you want to have? How you begin a morning matters. If you hit snooze three times, you’re starting chaotic energy before the day even begins. “Set the tone” is about the micro-habits that shape your day.
Actionable ways to Set the Tone (add these to your self care checklist):
Go to bed 30 minutes earlier each night for a week before a busy holiday.
Create a 5–15 minute morning routine: a cup of coffee by the window, a short podcast episode, a five-minute stretch.
Prepare the night before: set out outfits, prep lunches, create a rough timeline for the next day.
Start one holiday morning with gratitude aloud — either alone or with the family.
I added “10 things I'm grateful for journaling” to my own self care checklist this season, and that shift made a noticeable difference in how I greeted emails, kids, and family texts. Need journal prompts for business clarity and growth? Check out this blog post!
M = Maintain Boundaries
Boundaries are the hardest but most liberating piece of the puzzle. During the holidays, pressure comes from family expectations, outdated traditions, and people who assume you’ll take on last-minute hosting. Shelley’s advice: decide your limits before the holidays start and communicate them clearly.
Sample boundaries to include on your self care checklist or conversation plan:
No overnight guests this year.
We’ll limit extended family gatherings to X hours.
I’m not participating in gift swapping — we’re doing experiences only.
When conversations become heated, I will step away for 10 minutes.
Try this script (put it on your self care checklist as a reminder): “This year I’m keeping things small so I can be present. If conversations start to heat up, I’ll step away for a little while so we can all enjoy the day.” Rehearse it. You’ll be amazed at how often people mirror your tone.
I = Intentional Rest
Intentional rest is not the same as “waiting until you’re tired.” It’s scheduling rest ahead of time and protecting it. Shelley recommends creating a self-care calendar to ensure rest becomes non-negotiable. I started doing this, and having a planned 10- to 20-minute “pause” on busy days removed a lot of reactive stress.
Practical intentional rest items for your self care checklist:
Daily 5-minute breathing breaks (set an alarm).
Weekly 30-minute “me time” block — could be a bath, a walk, or watching a funny TV episode.
If you’re pregnant or postpartum, schedule extra rest days in the month you expect to give birth.
Car time as a boundary: sit in the car for 10 minutes before entering a crowded house.
One of Shelley’s favourite items? Watch mindless TV. I know that sounds counterintuitive to productivity culture, but a fifteen-minute laugh session can reset your nervous system. Consider adding “watch one light comedy episode” to your self care checklist for evenings when your brain needs a break.
L = Let Go
Letting go is both practical and spiritual. Practically, it means dropping the minute rules that create friction (like insisting on a perfect centerpiece every year). Spiritually, it’s forgiving small offenses that would otherwise fester and take the joy out of your day.
Ways to let go (put these on your self care checklist as decision points):
Decide in advance which issues are “not worth it” — create a short list.
Delegate the details you don’t enjoy. If you hate wrapping, ask a sibling to wrap or set a “wrap party.”
Forgive small slights on purpose: say “I’m letting that go right now” aloud if needed.
Letting go is a muscle that gets easier with practice. Add “practice one act of letting go” to your self care checklist each day during the holiday run-up.
E = Enjoy the Moments
The point of all this effort is to be present and to enjoy. Too often we’re so busy executing the holiday that we miss the very memories we were trying to create. “Enjoy the moments” is both a permission and an instruction.
How to make enjoying the moments practical (these are items to add to your self care checklist):
Pick one photo ritual: one family selfie at dinner or a five-minute story time for the kids.
Schedule one low-stakes activity that you genuinely like (watch a favourite movie, go for a neighbourhood walk to see lights).
Practice gratitude at the end of each day: one sentence on what went well.
I try to close each holiday day with a short reflection: “One thing I liked about today.” I keep it simple and add it to my self care checklist as a nightly habit. It helps me reframe the day and intentionally store the good moments.
My Actionable Self Care Checklist (Holiday Edition)
Now let me give you a detailed and practical self care checklist you can copy and adapt. This is inspired directly by Shelley’s 25-day holiday self-care calendar but reorganized into a modular list you can use any time during the season.
Use this as a template — pick 3–5 items per day, or use it as a weekly rotation.
Daily Holiday Self Care Checklist
Wake up without hitting snooze (or limit snooze to once).
5 minutes of deep breathing or morning gratitude.
Drink one full glass of water before your coffee.
Identify your top 3 priorities for the day (keep them visible).
Set one small boundary and communicate it (e.g., no gift opening before 10 a.m.).
Take a 5–10 minute walk or car pause mid-day.
Delegate at least one task (asking a family member or ordering food to-go).
Do one intentional rest exercise (laugh, watch an episode, or nap for 20 minutes if possible).
Let go of one small wrongdoing for peace (say it aloud or write it down and throw it away).
End the day with 1 sentence of gratitude or a memory you want to keep.
That list alone is your mini self care checklist for any busy day in December. Don’t be afraid to print it and post it on the fridge.
25-Day Holiday Self Care Ideas (Pick and Mix)
If you want to follow a near-daily cadence like Shelley’s calendar, here are 25 ideas to put on your holiday self care calendar. These are small, doable, and designed for busy moms.
Five-minute breathing interval before leaving the house.
Watch an episode of a light-hearted show (Golden Girls, Living Single, etc.).
Volunteer for one hour at a local organization.
Send a text to one friend just to say “I’m thinking of you.”
Order a ready-made dessert to take to a gathering.
Take a 10-minute walk to see holiday lights.
Ask for help with a meal prep task.
Put on your favourite song and dance for two minutes.
Decline one obligation (politely) and use the time to rest.
Buy one small treat for yourself (a candle, a favourite tea).
Journal one positive memory from the past year.
Make one phone call to a relative you appreciate.
Do a quick 10-minute stretch session in the morning.
Plan a low-key cookie decorating night with the kids.
Ask someone to handle the kids for 30 minutes so you can nap or read.
Pay a compliment to someone and watch their face light up.
Practice three affirmations in the mirror.
Make a “pause playlist” and listen to one calming song mid-day.
Delegate wrapping to a fun friend and make it a mini-event.
Take an intentional screen-free hour in the evening.
Practice mindful eating at one holiday meal — slow down and savor.
Write one short letter to your future self about this season.
Set a simple budget for gifts and stick to it.
Make one memory bank: record one short audio clip of the kids laughing.
Sleep 30 minutes earlier one night to recover.
These items are all candidates for your holiday self care checklist. Pick what resonates; don’t try to do everything.
Boundary Communication Scripts: Say It Once, Mean It
Setting a boundary is one thing; communicating it in a way that’s calm and effective is another. Shelley emphasizes asking for support from partners or friends so you’re not standing alone when tensions rise. Below are scripts you can use verbatim — add them to your self care checklist so you remember to use them in the moment.
Short Scripts to Use When Holiday Stress Escalates
“I want to enjoy this with you. I’m stepping away for 10 minutes and I’ll be back.”
“This isn’t the holiday I want us to have. Let’s table this conversation for another time.”
“I’m honoured you asked, but I’ve decided to keep things low-key this year.”
“I’m on a plan to protect my energy. I need a quick moment to myself.”
Place these scripts in a notes app or on your self care checklist and practice them aloud before family time — it makes them feel more natural when you need them.
Delegation: How to Share the Load Without Drama
Asking for help is a non-negotiable part of maintaining the holiday self care checklist. Shelley’s experience shows that many moms feel they must “do it all,” but that belief leads straight to burnout. Delegation doesn’t have to be a dramatic conversation. It can be strategic and even fun.
Practical delegation ideas to add to your self care checklist:
Turn gift wrapping into a “wrap party” — bring snacks and invite willing volunteers.
Assign one side of the family to appetizers and another to desserts.
Use grocery pickup or meal delivery to save cooking time.
Trade childcare with a partner or friend for one evening so you can rest.
Delegation requires boundaries and clear asks. Replace “Can you help?” with “Can you take over dessert this year?” The clearer the request, the more likely someone will step in.
Self Care While Pregnant or with Very Young Kids
When you’re expecting or have multiple kids under five, a typical 2-hour spa day is often impossible. That’s when the micro-rests and strategic scheduling on your self care checklist become essential.
Tips for cramped seasons:
Block 10–20 minutes three times a day for rest (post-nap, pre-dinner, bedtime).
Schedule help in advance for your due date month — consider paying a neighbour for a few hours of nanny help.
Stockpile freezer meals in month eight of pregnancy so you can rely on easy dinners after the baby arrives.
Plan micro-joys (favourite cookies, a hot shower, silly movie) and put them on your daily self care checklist.
When I was pregnant and juggling a business, I learned to reframe rest as productive planning. A rested brain is a creative brain, and that matters when you’re starting or scaling a business while parenting. Two of my kiddos were born around the holidays, the extra fatigue of pregnancy made the holidays very difficult because I didn't have any self care activities or routines in place so I highly recommend using Shelly's self care checklist ideas if you're pregnant over the holidays.
Writing, Publishing, and Personal Goals: Self Care as Ownership
Shelley’s experience self-publishing — turning a personal challenge into 70 Days of Happy — is both inspirational and instructive. One of her insights: you don’t need permission to be a published author. Treating personal goals as a form of self care is a powerful mindset shift.
If you have a creative or professional goal on your list for 2026, add it to your long-term self care checklist. Here’s how to break it down into manageable, guilt-free chunks:
Micro-goals: 500 words a week, one chapter a month, or one interview a quarter.
Support: find collaborators or join a group project (co-authorship can reduce the load and be a path to bestseller status).
Celebrate: add milestones to your calendar and reward yourself for sticking to them.
Shelley’s collaboration example is instructive: by joining forces, you can leverage shared marketing and accountability, which makes publishing feel like communal self care rather than one more deadline.
Carrying the Strategy into 2026: Planning Without Mom Guilt
As the new year approaches, I always feel a pull between ambition and exhaustion. How do I plan for more revenue, new offerings, or fresh personal goals while still honouring my need to rest? Shelley’s approach is straightforward: build intentional rest and self-care into the plan.
Try this for your 2026 planning self care checklist:
Identify your three most important goals for the year.
For each goal, designate 3 micro-actions you can realistically complete each month.
Schedule rest blocks around your most productive times — protect them like meetings.
Plan a quarterly “reset” weekend or day for reflection and re-alignment.
When you implement goals this way, they stop competing with your family life and begin complementing it. You’ll also be less likely to feel mom guilt — because you’re not abandoning yourself or your people, you’re strategically allocating energy to both.
What I’ve Learned from Using a Self Care Checklist
Over the last few seasons, I’ve made the self care checklist a non-negotiable part of my routine. The shift wasn’t dramatic overnight. It was the accumulation of small choices — protecting a morning, saying “no” once, asking for help, and intentionally resting — that added up to more joy and less resentment.
Here are the practical outcomes I experienced after committing to a holiday-oriented self care checklist:
Less reactive mood swings and fewer emotional meltdowns.
More enjoyable holiday interactions with family because I could remove myself without drama.
Better sleep, because I protected my bedtime routine even during travel.
More meaningful memories — the kids remember our presence more than our perfection.
That last point is critical: being present beats being perfect. A self care checklist doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you sustainable.
FAQ — Real Questions Answered About the Holiday Self Care Checklist
Q: How do I build a realistic self care checklist when I don’t have any time?
A: Start with micro-rests. Add two to three items that take five minutes each. Examples: 5 minutes of breathing, a gratitude sentence, or a quick walk. Micro habits add up and are the foundation for longer rest once your schedule allows.
Q: How often should I use a self care checklist?
A: Daily for small items, weekly for longer items (like a 30-minute self-care block), and monthly for bigger resets (like a day off or a quiet weekend). During December, consider a 25-day mini-calendar approach so each day has one small intentional act.
Q: How do I enforce boundaries with difficult family members?
A: Use prepared scripts on your checklist and enlist a “support person” who agrees to help de-escalate. Be clear, calm, and repeat your boundary once. If necessary, remove yourself and return after about 10–15 minutes when emotions have cooled.
Q: Is it selfish to prioritize my self care checklist during the holidays?
A: No. Prioritizing your wellbeing enables you to be more present and generous. Think of self care as fuel: an empty tank cannot drive anyone anywhere.
Q: Can a self care checklist help me with postpartum recovery or while expecting?
A: Absolutely. A checklist helps you concretely plan rest and support. Schedule help in advance, meal prep, and micro-rests. Add medical check-in reminders and appointments so you’re not negotiating care when you’re exhausted. Tune into this epsiode of the Go Get Great podcast for more pregnancy and postpartum advice for new moms.
Q: What if I fail to follow my checklist? Am I back to square one?
A: No. The beauty of a checklist is it’s flexible. Missing one day doesn’t erase progress. Recommit the next day and adjust items to fit reality. The goal is consistency over perfection.
How to Start Today: A Tiny First-Day Checklist
If you’re ready to start, here’s a tiny “Day One” checklist to put on your phone or fridge right now. It’s short and immediate.
Write down your mom type and top three priorities for this season.
Choose one boundary you will enforce this week and write a script for it.
Schedule two 10-minute rest blocks in your calendar for this week.
Pick one joyful, low-effort activity to do with your kids and schedule it.
Add “end the day with gratitude” to tonight’s routine.
These five items form a minimal self care checklist you can follow from tonight forward. Small wins build momentum, and momentum helps you survive — and thrive — through the holidays.
Final Thoughts: Keep Your Smile
There’s a line we said on the podcast that’s stuck with me: “A smile changes things.” The S.M.I.L.E. framework is a compact way to remember the deeper work — setting tone, maintaining boundaries, resting intentionally, letting go, and enjoying moments — and the self care checklist is the practical tool that makes that work real.
I invite you to try one week of the micro-checklist I shared and notice what shifts. Tell your partner or a friend about your plan so they can support you. If you feel like you need extra accountability, consider a group program or a short coaching series — Shelley’s approach is all about strategy that fits your life, not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Remember: self care is not a luxury; it’s the infrastructure that lets you build a life you actually want to live. Start small, make one boundary non-negotiable this week, and add one item to your self care checklist tonight. Then breathe. You are not supposed to do it all alone — and you don’t have to. And if you’d like to share what your checklist looks like for you, tag me on Instagram at @brittanymillersocials and say hi. I love hearing how small changes compound into big relief. Go get great — and keep your S.M.I.L.E.
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00:00 Intro
4:45 Shelley's getting started story
10:30 Giving yourself a title in business
14:30 Mom types
19:00 Holding on to your S.M.I.L.E.
26:15 Self-care as a mom
30:20 Being an author
38:00 Making guilt-free plans for 2024
39:30 Not having mom guilt
45:00 Wrap up
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