89. How to Regulate Your Emotions with Breathwork: Simple Steps I Use Every Day with Ashlee Livingstone
- Brittany Miller
- Mar 11
- 15 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
If you’ve ever wondered how to regulate your emotions so you don’t show up spent, reactive, or overwhelmed in your business and family life — you’re in the right place. Learning how to control your emotions is a game-changer for both life and business. That’s why in this episode, we’re diving into breathwork benefits and how this powerful practice can help you find balance, clarity, and calm—no matter what’s on your plate.
I’m joined by Ashlee Livingstone, a breathwork coach who specializes in breathwork healing and emotional regulation. Together, we’re breaking down what is breathwork, how it compares to meditation, and why it’s such an effective tool for emotional well-being. If you’ve ever struggled with stress, burnout, or anxiety, this episode is packed with insights on how to regulate your emotions naturally.
If we haven't met yet, I’m Brittany, an online marketing strategist for female entrepreneurs. I teach women how to make their entrepreneurial dreams a reality through smart, actionable marketing strategies that get them seen, loved, and paid. Whether you’re eager to DIY your way to success or hire professionals to help you along the way–my goal is to make sure you walk away with the clarity you need to see the results you desire and build a life you love.
Table of Contents
Why I care about learning how to regulate your emotions
Running a business and being a parent at the same time taught me quick: my energy matters. I’ve been on stages, I’ve run launches, I’ve juggled client requests and carpools. I used to think that managing time was the answer — schedule it all and grind. But the deeper lesson for me was learning how to regulate your emotions so that the time you have becomes effective and even joyful.
When I don’t practice basic regulation—breathing, pausing, setting intention—my day feels chaotic. I’m reactive, my inbox wins, and the ideas that should move my business forward get lost in noise. When I do practice regulation, even if it’s just five minutes, everything shifts. My focus gets sharper. Decisions feel clearer. I’m kinder to my family and to myself.
That’s why I wanted to share this guided, practical, and unapologetically doable plan for how to regulate your emotions using breathwork—because it’s one of the most accessible tools we already carry with us 24/7.
About Ashlee Livingstone — why I brought her on the podcast
Ashlee Livingstone is a breathwork and growth coach who empowers people, just like you, to breathe new life into your personal and professional journeys. Ashlee blends practical strategy with heart-centered work and is more than just a coach, she’s a transformative force, facilitating deep, impactful breathwork sessions that guide her clients to uncover and release the subconscious blocks holding them back. Her approach integrates powerful breathing techniques with growth-focused coaching, enabling profound personal breakthroughs and fostering sustainable growth. She is a self described a spicy human, who loves to connect, laugh, and share meaningful experiences with others. She’s a mom to an only, wife, lab mom and loyal friend (#scorpio IYKYK).
Located in Ontario, Ashlee is the creative force behind Our Forte, where she facilitates 1:1 coaching & breathwork sessions (including longer, hour-long sessions for deep work), runs a breathwork membership with live sessions three times a week, and creates short guided audios for parents and entrepreneurs. As someone who's ben a member of her hers, I can personally speak to the impact her breathwork session have, we'll talk more about that later.
On the podcast she said something that stuck with me: “When we are able to even take just one or two deep breaths... your body just calms down almost instantly.” That’s the simple power of breathwork. If you want to learn more from her directly, she has resources and recordings available for beginners and consistent practitioners alike, or keep reading or check out our conversation on the Go Get Great podcast.
What is breathwork? (The basic definition)
I like to keep things practical. Breathwork, in its simplest terms, is conscious awareness and intentional manipulation of your breath. Your body breathes automatically — thank goodness — but when you bring attention to the inhale and the exhale, you gain a direct line to your nervous system.
Ashlee described it perfectly on the podcast: breathwork is “the act of conscious awareness on your breath, of the inhales, the exhales, whether you manipulate it to be faster, slower, deep breaths.” That means breathwork can be as simple as pausing for five mindful breaths or as deep as a guided 45–60 minute session. The length and style depend on the outcome you want.
So if you’re wondering how to regulate your emotions, breathwork is one of the most direct and immediate tools because your breath acts like a switch for the nervous system.
Breathwork vs. meditation — similar, complementary, and different
Here’s a question I asked Ashlee: is breathwork the same as meditation? Her answer is — not exactly, but they’re deeply complementary.
Meditation often gets pitched as “clearing your mind,” which for many of us (hello, entrepreneur brains) sounds impossible. Breathwork gives you a focal point — your own breath — so you’re not battling thoughts. Ashlee said this on the podcast: for people with busy minds, breathwork is ideal because “it allows us to focus on our breath. Right. So it is not about clearing your mind. It is about focusing on your breath.”
In practice:
Meditation can be about cultivating presence, non-reactivity, or awareness, sometimes without a strong manipulative breath component.
Breathwork is an active practice that uses specific breathing patterns to change physiological and emotional states.
Longer breathwork or repeated short sessions will produce meditative states, relaxation, and clarity — so breathwork can function as a bridge into meditation.
When I need calm and quick clarity before a meeting, I use breathwork. When I want to sit with insights or practice open awareness, I lean into meditation. Both serve the same larger goal: teaching my nervous system how to return to baseline faster. That’s a core part of how to regulate your emotions.
The science and benefits: why breathwork actually works
Breathwork isn’t woo without a body underneath it. Here’s why it works, in practical terms:
Your breath is the fastest way to influence the autonomic nervous system.
Slow, nasal breathing stimulates the vagus nerve and signals safety to your body — reducing heart rate, lowering cortisol in the moment, and helping digestion.
Conscious breathing interrupts the “hold breath” pattern that often appears when we feel threatened or overwhelmed (think “freeze” response in fight-or-flight).
Regular breathwork can reduce chronic stress reactivity over time, improve sleep, and make creative problem-solving easier because your brain isn’t stuck in reactive mode.
Ashlee explained it in tangible terms on the podcast: “When we’re stressed, our body is going into survival mode, and that is a dysregulated state. We can't creatively problem solve. It's really hard for us to have compassion or emotional energy for other people.” Breathwork helps shift that survival mode into regulation by using the breath as a signal of safety.
For entrepreneurs and busy parents, that matters because chronic stress can block execution, creativity, and relationships — and breathwork is a high-ROI tool to change that dynamic.
Top practical benefits I’ve experienced (and why you might try this)
After practicing breathwork more consistently, here are the benefits I notice most and why I think they’re essential when you’re figuring out how to regulate your emotions:
Faster recovery from stress: A few deep breaths in traffic, before a call, or in the middle of a tantrum can reduce activation almost instantly.
Better focus and productivity: My days where I take 5–15 minutes to breathe or set intention are always more productive than the overwhelmed days when I don't.
Improved sleep: Breathwork before bed helped me and many clients fall asleep faster and sleep deeper. Allowing us to be more rested and productive the following day.
Less reactivity in relationships: When I'm regulated, I don’t get pulled into family drama or client chaos as easily. I'm also a calmer and more present mom for my kids.
More consistent execution: When my nervous system is not hijacked by stress, I can follow through on ideas instead of bouncing from one hot idea to the next.
Accessible, portable, and free: You literally have everything you need in your body. No gear, no class required.
That’s why I started thinking less about time management and more about energy management — it’s how to regulate your emotions and get more done in less time. In summary, breathwork helps me be the person I want to be for myself, my family and my clients.
How to introduce breathwork to kids (without a tantrum)
One of the most common questions Ashlee gets is how to help kids learn regulation. I tried the classic “smell the flowers, blow out the candle” with my own child and sometimes it worked, and sometimes it made things worse. Kids don’t respond well to lectures in the middle of a meltdown. So here’s what Ashlee suggests we do instead.
Model it first
The single most powerful strategy is to do the breathwork yourself and do it in front of your child. Kids watch and mimic. If they see you pause at the front door, breathe, and smile, they’ll start to notice that the mood changed. Ashlee said it plainly: “The best advice I have for that is to practice what you want them to do and do it in front of them.”
Make it part of routine, not punishment
Teach breath as a tool, not a consequence. Do a quick breathing moment after mealtime, before bedtime, or during a transition. Make it fun: hum together, do silly breathing noises, or add a short song. You’re teaching a practice, not enforcing behavior correction.
Use short, sensory-driven cues
“Let’s take five dragon breaths” (short, loud exhales).
Humming or singing — humming is powerful because “when you're humming, you actually also can't think about anything else,” as Ashlee pointed out. It helps move energy and quiet the mind.
Demonstrate and praise: “Look how calm Mommy is after three big breaths.”
Practice modeling and routine more than instruction. It takes patience, but it’s one of the best ways to teach children how to regulate their emotions long-term.
Signs you (or someone you care about) are dysregulated
Sometimes we don’t even realize that we’re operating in a chronic low-level stress state. Here are the signs I watch for in myself and my clients that signal it’s time to stop and re-regulate:
Physical tension: jaw tightness, clenched glutes, shallow breathing.
Emotional reactivity: quick to anger, crying over small things, snapping.
Sleep disruption: trouble falling asleep, waking up frequently, or needing too much sleep.
Digestive issues: or unexplained weight loss/gain—elevated cortisol affects digestion and weight.
Low motivation or chronic procrastination despite knowing what to do.
Elevated heart rate, high blood pressure, or feeling “on edge” often.
Ashlee used a great metaphor during our talk: kids are often taught to “suck it up” at school, but that doesn’t teach them regulation which has created a generation of adults who live in a state of dysregulation. I’ll add this: you can’t teach regulation if you’re dysregulated. Pause, self-regulate, then support others from a calm place.
How to regulate your emotions: Practical breathwork tools you can do today
Let’s get to the actionable steps. Below are breathwork practices categorized by time and intention so you can pick exactly what feels accessible. One of the biggest things we encourage is to choose a realistic starting point — most people can do five minutes a day.
Quick 30–60 second reset (for immediate de-escalation)
Use this when you’re in the middle of a heated moment — in a car, before a call, or during a stressful interaction.
Close your eyes or lower your gaze if possible.
Breathe in through your nose for 3 counts, feel the breath fill your belly and chest.
Exhale slowly through your nose for 4–5 counts.
Repeat 3–6 cycles. Notice your shoulders drop, jaw soften, and chest ease.
This small pattern sends a safety signal to your nervous system and interrupts the “hold your breath” freeze response.
5-minute anchor (builds habit and daily regulation)
Sit comfortably. Set a timer for five minutes to make it feel safe to check out.
Close your eyes and follow your natural breath for 30 seconds.
Shift to breathing in through your nose and out through your nose. Make the exhale slightly longer than the inhale (for example inhale 4, exhale 6).
Continue for the remainder of the five minutes. When your mind wanders, gently return focus to the breath.
Doing this each morning for five minutes can change your baseline over time. I make this my non-negotiable whenever I can — even 5 minutes shifts my day.
10–20 minute energizing session (for clarity and creativity)
Start with two minutes of natural breath awareness.
Move to an active breath pattern — for example, rhythmic deep breaths: inhale 4, exhale 4, strong exhale, repeat for 2–5 minutes.
Return to slower nasal breathing for 6–10 minutes to integrate the shift.
Finish by scanning your body and setting one intention for the next hour.
This is great when you need to pivot from vague overwhelm to creative problem solving.
Longer guided breathwork (30–60 minutes) — for deep processing
Ashlee, who facilitates hour-long sessions, uses longer formats for deep release and subconscious work. These sessions often pair active breathing with music and coaching prompts. Connect with Ashlee for more infomation on how she can support you.
A short breathwork script you can use right now (guided and safe)
I asked Ashlee to lead a short practice on the podcast, and here’s a condensed, safe version you can read to yourself or follow right now. If you’re driving, you can tune into the podcast episode and just do the nose breathing portion while keeping your eyes open.
Find a comfortable seated or lying position. Lower your gaze or softly close your eyes.
Notice your natural breath for a few moments — don’t force it, just observe.
Begin breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth in a smooth circle: inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
Continue this in-and-out pattern for five to ten breaths, feeling how your shoulders drop and jaw softens.
Now change to in through the nose and out through the nose. Make the exhale slightly longer than the inhale.
Scan your body: let shoulders relax, unclench your jaw, soften your glutes. Breathe in calm, exhale tension.
Take one last full breath and, as you exhale, let your body settle. Open your eyes slowly and notice how you feel.
Do this for one to five minutes whenever you need to reset. That’s literally how to regulate your emotions in a small, practical way.
How to build a lasting breathwork habit (what actually works )
Building a habit is less about willpower and more about systems and identity. Here are the steps I use and tips from Ashlee when she coaches clients when they ask how to regulate your emotions consistently.
Start with a tiny habit
Five minutes a day. No negotiation. If five minutes feels impossible, start with one minute. The point is consistency. You’ll rarely regret five minutes for yourself, but you will regret letting the day be hijacked by stress.
Anchor to another routine
Pair breathwork with an existing habit: after brushing your teeth, before coffee, or after an inbox check. When it’s attached to something you already do, it becomes easier to automate.
Make it visible and easy
Leave a reminder on your phone, or put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror: “Breathe.” Set a gentle alarm labeled “Five-minute breath.”
Keep recordings and guides handy
Ashlee offers short audios (like her “Calm Waves” 8-minute practice) and a breathwork membership with live sessions and recordings. If you prefer guided practices, keep 2–3 favorites saved so you can pop them on at the right moment.
Track and celebrate micro-wins
Add a simple tracker in your journal: a checkmark for each breath session you complete. Celebrate the streaks. The real reward is the way your days change when you're regulated more often.
Notice the feedback loop
Over time you’ll see how regulation improves sleep, creativity, and relationships. Use those wins to fuel the habit. Ask yourself each Sunday: how did my week feel when I practiced breathwork versus when I didn’t?
Common obstacles and how I overcame them
Here are the real hurdles Ashlee hears and what to do about them:
“I don’t have time.” — You do. You’re scrolling for 10 minutes some nights. Trade five of those minutes for a practice that improves your entire day.
“I can’t sit still.” — That’s okay. Try movement-based regulation: dance for two minutes, hum a tune, or do a walking breath.
“I don’t think it works.” — Try a two-week experiment: five minutes a day and track sleep, patience, and productivity.
“I get weird physical feelings.” — Start slow and consult a professional for trauma-sensitive practices. Breathwork can bring up emotions and should be approached gently if you have a trauma history.
How to regulate your emotions in business situations — examples I use
Here are real-world scenarios where I use breathwork to reframe or reset before showing up:
Before a sales call: five deep nasal breaths to center and create presence.
After a client conflict: a 10-minute anchor to reset perspective and approach the conversation with clarity.
During overwhelm: a 30–60 second reset, then a short planning session to set one doable action.
Before family time: a two-minute calming practice so I bring presence rather than reactiveness to kids and partner.
These small resets make a huge difference. When I’m regulated, I get more done, and the things I do have better quality because I’m less frazzled and more focused.
Frequently Asked Questions — FAQs on how to regulate your emotions
Is breathwork safe for everyone?
Breathwork is generally safe for most people. However, if you have certain medical conditions (e.g., serious heart or respiratory issues), epilepsy, or a history of trauma, it’s best to consult a healthcare professional before trying intense breathwork sessions. Start gently and choose guided, trauma-informed practices when in doubt.
How often should I practice breathwork to see benefits?
Start with five minutes daily for a consistent two-week experiment. Many people notice immediate benefits (calmer in-the-moment reactions), while deeper shifts in sleep and baseline stress can take several weeks of consistent practice. Consistency outweighs duration; five minutes a day beats one hour once a week.
What’s the difference between breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth?
Nasal breathing tends to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system more effectively and signals safety to your body. Breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth can be useful for active or cathartic practices. Use nasal breathing for regulation and calming; mouth exhale patterns can be useful for releasing energy in shorter practices.
Can breathwork help with panic attacks or anxiety?
Breathwork can be a useful tool to ground and re-regulate during heightened anxiety or panic, but if you experience frequent panic attacks, work with a trained mental health professional. Slow nasal breathing and grounding exercises can help reduce the intensity of panic symptoms in the moment.
How do I get my kids to try breathwork without resisting?
Model the behavior, make it playful, and attach it to routine. Kids mimic adults’ behaviors — so do the breathing in front of them. Use fun language (dragon breaths, balloon breaths) and make it short and sensory-driven. Avoid using breathwork as a punishment; instead, treat it like a superpower everyone gets to use.
What do I do if breathwork makes me feel weird or emotional?
Notice, slow down, and stop if you feel overwhelmed. Emotions can come up because breathwork can move stored energy. If intense feelings surface, sit with them gently or seek a trauma-informed practitioner for deeper work. Start slowly, keep sessions short, and use grounding techniques (touch your feet to the floor, hold a comforting object) if needed.
How can busy entrepreneurs fit breathwork into a jam-packed schedule?
Start with five minutes a day anchored to an existing habit (after coffee, before your first client call). Use 30–60 second resets between meetings. Remember: you don’t need large blocks of time. The better your baseline regulation, the more efficient you’ll be with the time you do have.
What’s one quick script I can use before a big meeting?
Take five deep breaths: inhale through your nose for four counts, exhale through your nose for six counts. Visualize breathing in clarity and breathing out tension. Repeat five times. Walk into the meeting with intent and presence. Ashlee's breathwork membership is awesome if you're looking to build a consistent breathwork practise.
Where can I learn more or get guided sessions?
Practitioners like Ashlee Livingstone offer short audios and memberships with live sessions and recordings. Start with a beginner-friendly guided audio and then explore memberships or local breathwork facilitators if you want live community practice.
How soon will I feel a difference after starting breathwork?
Many people feel an immediate difference after even one short session — reduced heart rate, softer shoulders, clearer thinking. For long-term changes in baseline stress, give yourself a few weeks of consistent practice. The key is daily micro-practices that compound over time.
Final encouragement
Learning how to regulate your emotions doesn’t require grand rituals. It starts with a few conscious breaths and the willingness to practice. If you’re juggling business goals and family life like I am, this small habit has the power to change how you work, parent, and rest. Try five minutes tomorrow morning. Notice how your day shifts. If you want to dive deeper, consider guided audios or a community practice — they helped me build consistency and gave me the accountability I needed.
We often think we need more time, but what we really need is more regulated energy. Breathwork is the fastest, most accessible, and most consistent tool I’ve found to move from hap-hazard reaction to thoughtful response. You already have everything you need—your breath is free, portable, and available anytime.
Practice consistently, model for your kids, and notice how your days shift.
Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this, I’d love to hear your experience after trying a five-minute breath practice. Share your wins and questions — we’re in this together as we figure out how to regulate our emotions and go get great. You can tune into more episodes of Go Get Great here.
Go Get Great Episode 89 References
Free Short breathwork to try: https://our-forte.kit.com/calm-waves
Breathwork membership: https://www.ourforte.ca/power-of-breathwork
Meet Ashlee
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Hit follow and please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode! The kids and I might even bust out a happy dance! 💗 - Brittany
00:00 Intro
4:15 What is breathwork?
6:10 Breathwork vs meditation
10:00 Breathwork benefits
18:00 Breathwork with kids
21:30 Signs of disregulation in your nervous system
26:00 How to regulate your emotions
30:00 Putting YOU first
36:40 Breathwork healing session
40:30 About Ashlee
43:30 Wrap up
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