The Big 3: Parenting Stress - Motherhood, Money, and Mental Health

Understanding Parenting Stress

Stressing is something I do daily, sometimes without even realizing it. Stressing about things you can control is one thing, but I tend to worry about the things that I can’t control.

Parenting stress isn’t something we like to talk about, but it shows up in the quiet moments, in the middle of the night, and even in the middle of happy times. For me, stress has always been my brain’s way of saying “nope” to rest, relaxation, or sometimes even joy. I worried long before I became a mom, but parenting stress hit me differently—it wasn’t just about me anymore, it was about my kids.

And let’s be honest, even though we love our children, motherhood isn’t always rainbows and cuddles. Parenting stress and mom anxiety creep in when you least expect it—whether it’s about money, time, relationships, or just the constant “what ifs.”

If we haven’t met yet, I’m Brittany — a Canadian mom of five, home renovation enthusiast, and a business owner who’s all about keeping life real and doable. I know firsthand how messy, beautiful, and overwhelming motherhood can feel, and I share from that space of “in the trenches” right alongside you.

Here, you’ll find encouragement, practical tips, and honest conversations about balancing family, work, and your own sense of self. My hope is that you’ll walk away feeling a little lighter, a little more seen, and a whole lot more equipped to create a life that works for you and your family. Follow me on Instagram @brittanynmiller_ for more.

Table of Contents

• Why the Second Baby Doesn’t Always Feel Easier

• The Early Triggers: Baby Gear and Strollers

• The Big 3: Work-Life Balance, Money, and Relationships

• Financial Stress in Canada During Maternity Leave

• Parenting Stress and Mental Health

• Covid-19 and Extra Layers of Mom Anxiety

• House Hunting and Renovations: More Stress on the Pile

• Work, Childcare, and the Domino Effect of Decisions

• Finding Ways to Cope with Parenting Stress

• What I Want My Kids to Learn About Stress

• FAQs About Parenting Stress

• Final Thoughts

Why the Second Baby Doesn’t Always Feel Easier

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I thought I had it all figured out. After all, I had already survived one pregnancy and childbirth. Shouldn’t the second time around feel easier? Spoiler: it didn’t.

Instead of less stress, my brain immediately spiraled. I started worrying about the small things: another crib, baby clothes, a car seat. I even spent a week obsessing over my stroller. Would it work for two kids? Could I find an adapter that didn’t cost more than the stroller itself?

This was my first big lesson: parenting stress doesn’t always come from the big moments—it builds in the tiny details.

The Early Triggers: Baby Gear and Strollers

I wish I could say I handled the stroller stress gracefully, but in reality, it consumed my thoughts. I had bought my stroller second-hand, and finding compatible accessories wasn’t easy. With stores closed during Covid-19, online shopping was my only option, and it felt overwhelming.

I eventually found a solution for the Uppababy stroller I had at the time. Well, for the rumble seat, but not for the car seat adapter. That “win” only led to new worries about what else I was missing. Parenting stress has a way of snowballing—fix one thing, and two more pop up.

The Big 3: Work-Life Balance, Money, and Relationships

Some stress is universal, and for me, I call them The Big 3, the top, most popular things that adults worry about all or most of the time.

• Work-life balance

• Money

• Relationships

I've spent more than my fair share of my adult time stressing about all three. I thought I would share my personal struggle related to these three things in the hopes that someone will find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

These are the areas where adulting and parenting stress really digs in deep. Add a new baby to the mix, and suddenly every decision feels heavier.

I feel that moms are expected to hide their stress from their children. I understand that to a point. Kids pick up a lot more than we realize, even from a young age, and parents want their children to grow up happy. I think that to some extent, kids should be oblivious to the struggles of the real world or else they’ll grow up too fast and miss out on the fun of playing and exploring their imagination. That was my parents’ philosophy and I appreciate that they didn’t require me to hold down a job, however, that didn't set me up for financial management as an adult.

I don’t think parents should unload their financial struggles on 6 year olds, but I do want my kids growing up knowing they can ask me questions about money and talk about relationships with me and I’ll be honest with them.

Financial Stress in Canada During Maternity Leave

Let’s talk money, because financial stress is one of the heaviest burdens for Canadian moms.

For me, work-life balance and money are closely intertwined. Covid-19 has created a very uncertain world which is causing me a lot of unease around our financial situation. I went into financial survival mode—deferring car and mortgage payments, applying for every relief program, and keeping a spreadsheet that I checked far too often.

We made it work, but not without sacrifices. Pre-baby, if I had to live on cans of soup and toast for a few weeks my waist wouldn’t have liked it, but I would have survived. That’s not really an option when you’re breastfeeding. I try to be conscious of the food I eat so that Thalia is getting plenty of healthy food and the nutrients she needs to grow. Grayson ate more toast and eggs than I’d like to admit, and my brain was constantly running numbers instead of resting. Parenting stress and financial stress in Canada often go hand-in-hand, and I felt it in every budget decision.

House Hunting and Renovations: More Stress on the Pile

We needed more space, but moving required finishing renovations and getting pre-approval while balancing maternity leave pay.

With another baby on the way, getting a bigger house was something that was on my mind. The only problem, we hadn't finished our present home renovations due to lack of finances so I hit up my excel spreadsheet again to see where we could find the funds to get ready to potentially sell our house.

I had contacted our mortgage broker for guidance and a pre-approval so I could start looking for a bigger house, only to realize that my upcoming maternity leave would be impacting our budget, again! I love having kids, but this maternity pay is for the birds! Maternity leave pay doesn’t stretch as far as people think.

How does the government expect people to stay home and raise children without constantly being concerned about losing your house? We both make a decent amount of money and our budget was still negative $300 a month with my reduced maternity pay. Grayson and I have a very lean budget. We don’t have monthly subscriptions (except for Spotify and Netflix because we don’t have cable - and honestly, who doesn’t), we rarely go out for dinner or order take out, and most of our shopping is done at second hand stores.

When I had to review our budget before my maternity leave, my options for cutting expenses were to sell the house or sell one of our cars, so I can really see why people are having kids later in life. They can’t afford to have them sooner unless they plan to live with their parents until they retire or they’ve saved $25,000 or more! $5,000 to purchase baby supplies like cribs, strollers, car seats etc. and then $20,000 or more to cover the salary deficit maternity pay leaves you with.

Since we hadn’t saved any money, I won’t lie, the idea of moving back in with my parents has crossed my mind on more than one occasion and has become a serious contender as an option for my second maternity leave, which I'm sure would have an impact on my mental health.

Parenting Stress and Mental Health

Money wasn’t my only stressor. Parenting stress also affected my sleep, my mood, and my ability to stay present with my daughter. I felt guilty for being distracted, guilty for worrying too much, guilty for not being the “calm mom” I wanted to be.

Mom anxiety is sneaky—it tells you that you’re failing even when you’re doing your best. And the truth is, many of us moms are carrying silent stress while trying to look like we’ve got it together.

Parenting stress in this season was less about one big problem and more about the domino effect. Every choice seemed tied to five others, and it felt like one wrong move could topple everything. Parenting stress isn’t always about the present—it’s about all the unknowns in the future.

Finding Ways to Cope with Parenting Stress

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• You can’t control everything. Focus on what you can do today.

• Talk about it. Parenting stress feels lighter when shared.

• Celebrate small wins. Surviving the week is worth celebrating.

• Be honest with your kids. They don’t need the full weight of adult worries, but they should see that stress is normal and manageable.

What I Want My Kids to Learn About Stress

I don’t want my children to grow up in a bubble. I want them to see that stress is part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. I’ll teach them about money, about relationships, and about work-life balance—things I wish I’d learned earlier.

Parenting stress isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a reminder that we’re human, and that motherhood is as much about learning as it is about teaching.

FAQs About Parenting Stress

Is parenting stress normal?

Yes, every parent experiences stress. It’s not a reflection of your ability as a mom or dad.

How do I deal with financial stress during maternity leave?

Take advantage of Canadian relief programs, defer payments where possible, and focus on essentials first.

What’s the difference between stress and mom anxiety?

Stress is often tied to external pressures, while mom anxiety can feel constant—even without a specific trigger.

How can I reduce parenting stress at home?

Simplify routines, ask for help, and set realistic expectations. You don’t have to do it all.

Does parenting stress affect kids?

Children are perceptive, but open communication and healthy coping strategies help them feel safe and supported.

Final Thoughts

Does anyone know if it’s possible to win the lottery without buying lottery tickets? I’m not a gambler but I think I’d have a better chance of winning the lottery then trying to create a budget for my second maternity leave with all of the uncertainty. These are just a few of my daily stress inducers, and this is only considering two of The Big 3. I’ll talk about the relationship part of The Big 3 in one of my upcoming articles so stay tuned for all that drama!

But all kidding aside, parenting stress is real, and it doesn’t magically disappear with experience. Whether it’s money, work, relationships, or the unknowns of raising kids during a pandemic, stress shows up in big and small ways.

But here’s what I know now: we don’t have to carry it alone. By talking openly, sharing stories, and finding small ways to cope, parenting stress becomes less of a mountain and more of a road we can walk together.